
I have to admit to being a bit apprehensive at the idea of a weekend long Hen night – but I would not have dreamed of missing it for the world. When Emma asked me to go I was so pleased, it means so much to me that we have become friends, not just cousins.
The intention had been to attend the ‘Green Man Festival’ for the Spring Equinox near Hay-on-Wye; but the event was cancelled. Since the cottage had already been booked Emma decided we should still go – I’m glad she did.
Celtic Lodge (the first house in Wales – on that stretch of road anyway!) was a perfect base for the weekend, and was in a lovely location next to the river and on the edge of Hay.
I can’t give too much information about what we got up to – in case Gary reads this (!) – but a great time was had by all. We ate some meals in the cottage (including Saturday morning cooked breakfast – the one meal I feel confident cooking for more than 4 people!), and other times we went out to a local café or pub (in groups or individually).
For me the weekend was so easy going and laid back; with us all coming and going as we pleased – just meeting up for coffee, beer or food. I didn’t need to have worried, there was very little (I can’t say ‘no’) drunken hilarity, and nothing too embarrassing really – honestly.
Emma (one of the other hen’s) had arranged a few games (pass the parcel etc), and we had the compulsory penis straws for our champagne on the first evening!
Claire and Ellen read tarot cards for those who wanted it (mine was really interesting and scarily insightful); and of course there was lots of time for chatting.
Emma has some fantastic, truly lovely friends – she should (I know she does) consider herself really lucky. I’m really looking forward to seeing them all again at the wedding in June.
One thing that I am particularly proud of is that I managed to get myself banned from a pub in Hay!!! Perhaps I should explain – if only as a warning to anyone thinking of visiting the area.
Lou had booked us a table at‘The Old Black Lion’ pub on the Saturday evening – I know they had been a bit unsure about taking the reservation for a large group, but they did accept the booking.
We arrived on time and were shown to our table, we asked for some jugs of tap water…………..20 minutes later we had no menus, and no tap water – despite the fact that a number of us had made a couple of requests.
We could see that the staff were getting a bit flustered, but we were in no particular hurry – just thirsty – they had asked us not to go to the bar but to wait for the waitress to take our order.
The food finally arrived, by which time we had our drinks and were getting a little more ‘relaxed’, although my no means ‘drunk’; it was fantastic. I’d ordered my absolute favourite meal – beef wellington, and it was wonderful. However, after about 4 mouthfuls Ellen realised that her chicken breast wasn’t cooked – it was actually pink inside.
The landlady didn’t believe her and took it to the kitchen to check – after a while she returned, apologised and offered Ellen something else. Here I guess we made our first mistake, Ellen asked if they could just cook another chicken as that was what she really wanted. By the time her meal arrived we’d all finished eating.
The service was appalling, but as I’ve said they were busy and we weren’t to worried as we weren’t in a hurry. We asked for the bill, which we’d decided I would pay for on my card and everyone would give me the cash.
It arrived, but was not very informative – 10 meals (one of us had two starters). Second mistake – I asked them to itemise the bill so that we could work out how much each of us had spent – they weren’t happy, at all.
I also wanted to question them as to how they felt justified in charging us for Ellen’s meal – I didn’t feel that we should pay for it.
After about 20 minutes the bill was returned to us itemised and I took it up to the bar to have a quiet word with the landlady. Let’s just say things escalated – and I hasten to add, NOT by me.
The landlady decided to argue with me, and when I calmly pointed out that it wasn’t acceptable (in fact it was downright dangerous) to serve rare chicken she started to argue that Ellen had got a meal in the end so what was the problem? When I pointed out that back when I ran pubs I would not have dreamed of charging for that mistake she started getting personally abusive and calling out ‘this GIRL used to run a pub, I bet she had no customers as she’s a RUDE, HORRIBLE person’; she then tried to demand my name and address so that she could make sure that I never visited her pub again!
My final mistake of the evening was to laugh at her – well how could I take that seriously!?! I pointed out that she had my name on my credit card (which she had been waving at me) and that my address wasn’t necessary as I lived in Yorkshire and in any case why the hell would I want to visit again? – so she banned me – RESULT!! (I didn’t pay for the chicken meal!)
All in all it was a relatively sedate hen weekend, the only man that Emma talked to was the lovely Trevor (who can’t get it up due to too much smoking and drinking), only one bottom was bared in public (no I’m not saying whose and in what circumstances – but it wasn’t mine!), rather a lot of alcohol was consumed but there was some left at the end of the weekend, and I know that everyone had a wonderful time – I know I did. Now I’m just looking forward to the wedding party……….I hope someone invites Trevor?




































