What if one of them looks odd?

Following my earlier post about the new Counter Terrorism posters, I’ve just found this on the web -

FANTASTIC! Wish I’d thought of it, wish I’d done it! If anyone knows who did it let me know and I’ll give them credit (and a pat on the back!)

The heaviest element

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element known to science. Its existence was proved during the hurricane, gasoline and other issues of the last year or two.

The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) Has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called mo-rons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pe-ons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to
complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, however, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more mo-rons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes. This characteristic of mo-ron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever mo-rons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium – an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since though it has only half as many peons it has twice as many mo-rons.

This element is found in abundance in Canada, in particular about once every 4 years!

Frozen Grand Central Station

This is really cool.

There’s now a UK group but it looks like things will only happen in London – as usual!

Richard & Kim’s ‘Furkids’

B AND B
Originally uploaded by prokillrat.

I’d never heard the expression before, but it appears that there is a word for pets who are treated like children by their owners – Furkid.

‘Couples like furkids because they usually don’t live long enough to need expensive private schools. And their friends like furkids because, unlike real children, you can plausibly claim to be allergic to them.’
(ABC Network, Australia, 2004)

If only it were this simple -

When she walks away from you mad….

One of my contacts put the following text on my ‘Funwall’ on Facebook. It kind of sums up what relationships are all about – everyone (male and female) should read it and remember it.

When she walks away from you mad
[ Follow her ]

When she stare’s at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit’s you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]

When she start’s cussing at you
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she’s quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]

When she ignore’s you
[ Give her your attention ]

When she pull’s away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and dont say a word ]

When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she’s scared
[ Protect her ]

When she lay’s her head on your shoulder
[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steal’s your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease’s you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she look’s at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When she say’s that she like’s you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grab’s at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bump’s into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tell’s you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

When she repost this bulletin
[ she wants you to read it ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

- When she says she’s ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she’s important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
“Who’s ass am I kicking babe?”

I think I might be having a mid-life crisis

Originally uploaded by Vimrod1.

Mmmm, I think we all know at least one person who this fits for!!

Not me, not yet anyway!

Sad, very sad – still could be worse!

64%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Quantas maintenance complaints

Crossing planes
Originally uploaded by Ms. Moll.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots, marked with a P, and the solutions recorded, marked with an S, by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

I left the window to my soul open and a pigeon flew in. Should I be

I left the window to my soul open and a pigeon flew in. Should I be worried?
Originally uploaded by Vimrod1.

Only if it has a crap…….